This is a Static Post

you just get used to things [/meta]

okay, so i'm late. the last part of october, i was preoccupied with columbaries, and well, we all know where i was on november 1 grin so cut me some slack here, will you? so. originally, i had wanted to return to the simple, non-fangirly me, but guess what? shakes head in vain. anyway. this comes despite the fact that i'm dying to get kate walsh on my header. well, there's always december :D

posted by kate @ 8:11 PM on 11/7/2006

Friday, November 17, 2006

i'm moving

point your browsers to www.thegshift.com/blog.

finally, after five years here--hello, wordpress! :)

this blog stays here though. it stays the way it is. :)

posted by kate at 3:26 AM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

inner dork resuscitation

yes, it is 2:14 in the morning.

and i had just finished ftp-ing the ENTIRE yeba!website (all 7 versions of them and the complete galleries) to its new home. because i'm mushy-sentimental like that.

and oh, very soon -- and i mean, very -- this blog is moving out. somewhere. smirk five years.

posted by kate at 10:03 AM

'she took you to the afterlife, where she's building us a great big house.'

my sister has weird dreams. she has weird dreams that she eventually remembers in the morning. she has weird dreams that she eventually remembers in the morning that she painstakingly recounts to me, unbelievably detailed, the moment i step back into our room/house, a little over ten p.m.

my sister has weird dreams about our mother. now, this dream, she said, by way of introduction -- this dream she absolutely struggled to remember, down to the last curious detail she could gather. so she could tell me. the night after.

so she said, "i had a dream about mom."

i looked at her and said, "unfair, i don't dream about her anymore."

"she was in my dream. and in my dream i knew, she wasn't supposed to be there, and though i did not ask her why -- it was kind of like telepathy, she answered anyway -- 'i'm here, so what?'"

i laughed, thoroughly amused. "she tells you off in your own dream."

"i know! it was my dream!" we laughed some more. "but anyway. in our dream we had a big house."

"unfair," i just said. can't believe i was actually jealous my mother visited her in her dreams. "she took you to the afterlife. that's what she's doing there -- building us a great big house. waiting." i found it curious, the way i had put it. i had never thought about it that way before, just at that moment.

my sister did not seem to mind. (or maybe, notice.) "so yeah, we were rich. and we had a big house. in which everything was locked! and i forgot something inside, and there were a lot of keys that all looked the same!"

that was very in-character, actually -- my mother was certainly one who'd gone crazy about locks and things that closed things semi-permanently. she so was. "you have mommy issues," i pointed out. "and rich issues. and lock issues. and trying to get back to things that have already been locked closed."

"what can i say, i'm a girl with a lot of issues," she just says. cryptic always worked.

i smirked. "curious, that detail about the similar keys. maybe it means there are a lot of ways to do something that would lead to just this one result: opening a door?"

my sister has a way of glowing, whenever she was amused or amazed or utterly struck by something i had said. which happens 95 percent of the time, because sisters are all about appreciating points of view as if you'd just seen them for the very first time. "wow. you're like my dream analyst or something."

"well, your sister tries."

she smiled. "in my dream i'd also seen old clothes we once had way back. things i don't see anymore."

"see, again with the wanting-to-see-old-things issue. things-that-aren't-there-anymore issue."

"and oh. in my dream, mommy was into woodcrafting. for charity." our mother was once a chemist, not a woods-person. "that's how we got rich."

i raised a brow. "your dreams are weird," i just said.

the conversation ends. i am left wishing i remembered my dreams too.

posted by kate at 3:18 AM

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

photographs, nine years hence

i still find myself wondering how it would have been like to point a digital camera to our faces, side by side.

posted by kate at 1:49 AM

Monday, November 13, 2006

singlehood is ♥

another full repost. because it rings all my available bells. haha.

Myths and truths about the single life
Inquirer
Last updated 09:42am (Mla time) 11/12/2006
Published on page Q9 of the November 12, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer

WHEN I was in my thirties, even as I remained happily single, a little voice inside me kept insisting that when I found Mr. Right, all my troubles would be over.

Now, at 42, I’m still single. But the little voice is now silent, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is my lot in life. I also say that now with some pride and a lot of peace, and without the sigh of resignation that women of a different generation might have heaved.

That’s because today, I and my kind seem to be less and less the third wheel, the unattached minority. At least in my circles, although I do have married friends with screaming kids (who, for the record, I am not crazy about), I have become the norm, the standard. Wherever I wander these days—cocktail parties, dinners, media events, even out of town—there may be couples, but there are always several others like me. No spouses, no families—no apologies, and no regrets.

That’s good and bad. Good, because my life has become easier; I hear the question, “So why aren’t you married yet?” less and less these days, because the answer doesn’t matter so much anymore. Bad, only because it may have become too easy—and we’re beginning to be blamed for some social ills. A recent Newsweek article on childless couples even listed countries where singles got taxed higher!

It’s partly in reaction to this mindset that I, a selfish, hedonistic, amoral and carefree singleton (if you go by all the stereotypes), decided to run through some typical beliefs about single people.

1. Single people always have fun. (true)
“Of course single people always have fun,” says my friend Fred, who’s 45 and working with a multinational company. “I am not forced to compromise.” Indeed, we seem to enjoy ourselves more because we don’t have to focus on anyone else’s needs as much as our own. And if you manage your time and resources well, you can keep loved ones relatively happy, and still have enough for yourself.

2. Singles get lots of sex! (false)
“Quite tiring!” says my friend Minerva, who’s 43, unattached, has a great job and a long line of male buddies on the side precisely for fulfilling certain, uh, needs. But for the record, the most sexually fulfilled people I know are long-time couples or happily married tandems (stress on the “happily married;” I also have married friends who have forgotten how to spell “orgasm”). Being single doesn’t mean you jump into bed at the drop of a hat. Thank goodness for hormones that mellow along with you, and the realization that everything does have its proper place.

3. Single people have few responsibilities. (false)
NO! Ask any single who has ever been dumped with contributing to the household budget, and taking on overtime work in the office during holidays just because they’re single. If you’re a conscientious family person, you’ll know what I mean. But I still don’t like being asked to have a talk with this or that erring niece/cousin/relative. Helloooo—this is why I don’t have children, remember?

4. Single people get lonely more often. (false)
“Not true. I know couples who are lonely just the same,” Minerva says. In other words, we get lonely as much—or as little—as the next person. Sometimes it’s the kind of loneliness that a partner’s embrace can assuage, but other times it’s not. Besides, it may eat you up when you’re younger and are convinced that only Your Great Love can “complete” you. Then you learn that completion is not an external process. Somewhere along a singleton’s journey to maturity, loneliness becomes solitude. And solitude can be a wonderful thing.

5. Single women are afraid of relationships, and have problems with men; conversely, single men are usually torpe. (false)
Surprisingly, Minerva agrees somewhat. “Single people get so used to being on their own, it’s usually harder to co-exist with someone.” So it’s less about fear than complacency, because most singles I know have been in relationships, and good ones. Maybe their relationships didn’t work, but they haven’t been ruined for life. When you’ve become comfy in your own skin, it takes more of an effort to get out. Which is why many of us don’t get much sex—we’d rather stay home and watch National Geographic with our dogs. By choice.

6. Single people tend to be more self-centered and less nurturing. (false)
“Not true at all,” Fred says. “I know a lot of singles who give their time to activities that contribute to the growth, improvement and well-being of others, and while doing so find their own personal fulfillment.” Just because they’re not your kids doesn’t mean you can’t help take care of them; just because you aren’t a mother doesn’t mean you can’t care for a lost pamangkin, a heartbroken friend, or even a neglected relative. Hey, just because I didn’t bring children into this world doesn’t mean I can’t do my part to keep the bigger human family together. I just chose to skip the labor pains. Alya B. Honasan

this is exactly why i ♥ ma'am alya to bits. :) taken from here.

posted by kate at 2:03 AM

Saturday, November 11, 2006

nine years

it would be interesting to note that tomorrow would be my mother's ninth death anniversary. and if anybody would even ask how i am, i'd just say i'm okay.

there's a certain ambivalence to the word "okay", my friend caloy said to me once, some random conversation. people say it's okay, when it never is -- you just kind of get used to it.

during the first few days after my mother died in 1997, i used to justify my mother's absence by telling myself she's just out on an extended business trip. i was twelve, and yes, i was old enough to know it wasn't true -- my mother was dead and being dead wasn't tantamount to being on an "extended business trip" of any sort.

but really, i didn't need to be reminded of that every single day -- when there are school forms to fill that need a parent's signature on it, whenever a parent-teacher conference came up, whenever my sister competed in out-of-school math bees. sure, at first it was harder than i could ever express in words.

but then as i've said before, it gets better anyway.

so yeah, right now, it's just interesting to note it's been that long. i guess, looking back and seeing how far i've come, i just have to say i did not fare that bad at all.

posted by kate at 12:53 AM

Friday, November 10, 2006

fridays are better when they're faydays (srsly!)

and now, for part one of the november edition of wasakan-whatever-day-of-the-week :)

seriously, wasakan last night at gerry's in glorietta was a lot less sabog than that last time @ watering hole, which we could all remember, resulted in this:

but nevertheless, still sabog:

i swear, andito ako sa picture na ito.

yosi shot.

and the mandatory bakekang shot of the night:

bakit nga ba ako pumayag ano.

anyway.

for more information and tons of pictures, click over to multiply and here. because multiply is love, and ate adelle with my camera is too heheheh :)

posted by kate at 10:58 PM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

passive aggresiva

addison is ♥♥♥

obviously, i've been watching too much grey's anatomy.

posted by kate at 3:40 AM